Relapse
by all4jesus84
Summary: This is the sequel to my story "The Cutter Girl." Chrissy now lives with her foster mother Michelle, but what will happen when Chrissy's mother is released from rehab? Will Chrissy return to her old ways?
1. Remembering

**A/N: For those of you who read "The Cutter Girl", thank you for the great reviews. This is the sequel, so I hope you enjoy it just as much. Havefun reading.**

"Tess, look at the beautiful sky. It's just such a lovely spring day." Monica said passionately as the two angels walked throug a nice neighborhood in San Francisco. All of the houses were large and surrounded by beautiful beds of colorful flowers.

"So why are we here Tess? Is our next assignment in this neighborhood?" Monica asked, liking the idea of spending a few days in such a beautiful setting.

"Yes baby, your next assignment is here in the neighborhood. I have somewhere else I'll need to be. Somebody else needs an angel in this situation but you need to be here for a young girl." Tess explained as the neighborhood around them faded and the two angels found themselves in a large living room. Monica observed the new surroundings.

"Where are we Tess?" She asked curiously.

"Just watch angel girl, your assignment will be here in a moment." Tess replied. Monica nodded and waited. She saw a small dog lying on the couch. She smiled and then she heard a small, but familiar voice from the next room.

"Snuffy, it's time for your walk." The young voice called. Monica turned to Tess as the little dog jumped up excitedly, wagging its tail.

"Tess, that girl, I know her. It's…" But before Monica could say her name, the teenage girl ran into the room, holding a leash. Monica recognized her immediately.

"Come on Snuffy; let's get your leash on." The girl, whose name was Chrissy said as she attached the leash to the excited dog. Monica smiled and turned to Tess.

"Tess, it's Chrissy. She was my assignment last year. Oh Tess, she was going through so much at the time. I still remember it all so well. Her mother was abusive and Chrissy was cutting herself. When I left, she was taken away from her mom and she was going to live with a woman, Michelle Long." Monica remembered as she watched Chrissy's bright smile as she played with her dog.

"Yes baby, Chrissy is living with Michelle and she hasn't seen or heard from her mother in over a year." Tess explained.

"Where is her mom now Tess?" Monica asked.

"She's still in rehab, but that won't be the case for much longer." Tess replied. Monica watched as Chrissy pet her dog and then watched as a familiar woman walked into the room. Monica remembered her immediately as Michelle Long, Chrissy's foster mother.

"Chrissy, are you taking Snuffy for a walk?" Michelle asked as she knelt down next to Chrissy.

"Yeah, I was just about to go." Chrissy replied with a smile.

"Well, do you want some company?" Michelle asked as she patted Snuffy on the head. Chrissy looked up at Michelle with curious eyes.

"I thought you were busy working on the books." She said. Michelle was an accountant.

"Chrissy, I always have time for you, you know that." Michelle said with a smile. "Now come on, let's go." Monica watched as Michelle helped Chrissy up and the two headed out the door with an excited Snuffy.

"Tess, Chrissy looks really happy, and I don't see any scars on her arms. Why is she my next assignment?" Monica asked.

"God told you Chrissy would need you again so here you are. Things seem fine now, but things are going to get really hard for Michelle and Chrissy and Chrissy is going to need you." Tess replied. Monica puckered her brow, not quite knowing how she was going to fit into the picture.

"Tess, I don't understand." Monica said.

"Chrissy already knows you're an angel, baby. I have to be somewhere else. You'll understand why you're here very soon." With that, Tess disappeared, leaving Monica confused. _Father, Chrissy seems okay, I don't understand why she needs an angel. Please help me._ Monica prayed, trusting full well that God would take care of everything.


	2. Reunited

Chrissy and Michelle arrived back at their house about a half an hour later and Chrissy sat down on the front porch, petting the tuckered out Snuffy.

"Well, I'm gonna go finish those books before dinner. Are you coming in sweetie?" Michelle asked as she knelt down for a minute.

"No, I'll just stay out here for a little bit." Chrissy replied. Michelle nodded, kissed Chrissy's head and walked inside. Chrissy unleashed her dog and threw a chewed up tennis ball across the lawn. Snuffy was unamused, obviously ready for a nap.

"Alright, fine." Chrissy said quietly. She didn't realize that somebody was standing behind her.

"Hello Chrissy." Chrissy turned around and saw the angel who had helped her a little over a year ago.

"Monica!" Chrissy exclaimed as Monica sat down next to Chrissy.

"I wondered if I would ever see you again." Chrissy said with a smile.

"I told you I would be back when you needed me." Monica replied. Chrissy puckered her brow.

"But, nothing's wrong. Not that it's not good to see you Monica, but why do I need an angel?" She asked politely. Monica shrugged.

"I don't know little one. God just sent me to be with you." She explained.

"I'm feeling a little scared now. If God sent me an angel, that means something must be wrong." Chrissy admitted. Monica put her hand on Chrissy's shoulder.

"God is with you Chrissy, no matter what happens." She said. Chrissy smiled.

"So tell me, how has life been for you?" Monica asked.

"Well, it took me some time to get used to Michelle, but she's been really nice to me. So much is different. I don't have to cook dinner every night like I had to do for my mom. Michelle doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs. Even this house is so much bigger and better than my old house." Chrissy replied with a small smile.

"That's wonderful Chrissy. I also see you are wearing a T-shirt and I see no cuts." Monica noticed. Chrissy stared at her arms.

"Yeah, I haven't cut myself since I last saw you, but it's been really hard. Whenever I get depressed about stuff, I sometimes want to cut, but Michelle has made me promise that whenever I want to cut to come and get her and we usually talk about it and I feel better. Plus I'm still seeing the counselors at the group home on a weekly basis, so that's been helpful too." She explained to the listening angel.

"It sounds like things have been pretty good. It sounds like you really like Michelle." Monica said.

"I do. She's actually in the process of trying to legally adopt me." Chrissy explained.

"Oh, that's wonderful."

"Yeah my social worker Sandra is trying to get it to go through. It's been in the air for a few months, just with all the paperwork, but it'll happen soon and I won't have to worry about ever being taken away from Michelle." Chrissy said. Monica smiled.

"So who's this then?" Monica asked, pointing to the tiny cocker spaniel that was snuggling up to Chrissy, fast asleep.

"This is Snuffy. He was just a puppy when I first came here. I've never had a dog before." Chrissy said. Just then, the front door opened and Michelle came outside.

"I needed a break from all those numbers. Do you want some lemonade Chris?" Michelle asked as she saw that Chrissy wasn't alone. She smiled at the stranger.

"Hello, are you a friend of Chrissy's?" Michelle asked.

"Oh yeah, she's an old friend of mine. This is Monica." Chrissy introduced. Monica stood up and smiled.

"Hello, you must be Michelle." Monica said as she shook Michelle's hand.

"Yes I am, it's nice to meet you Monica." Michelle turned to Chrissy. "How do you and Monica know each other?"

"Um." Chrissy looked at Monica, not quite knowing how to answer. "She helped me a lot when I was still living with my mom. She lived in our basement for a while."

"Oh okay, cool. Well Monica, would you like to join us for some lemonade in the backyard?" Michelle asked.

"I'd love to, thank you." Monica replied and she followed Michelle through the house.

"Come on Snuffy, let's go." Chrissy called as she followed too. As they walked out to the backyard, Monica felt as though something was going to happen. As she watched Chrissy laughing at Michelle's jokes, Monica had a feeling that Chrissy wouldn't be laughing for long. She just had a feeling that something was going to happen; she knew God had called her to be with Chrissy, she just didn't know why.


	3. Rehab

Jessica Anderson stared out the window of her room at the Elfman Rehabilitation Clinic just on the outskirts of San Francisco. She had been in rehab for more than a year for her addictions to alcohol and drugs. As she stared out the window, she thought of her daughter, Chrissy. She hadn't seen or spoken to her daughter since she was taken. Now, as Jessica was staring out the window on her last day at the clinic, she was thinking about getting her daughter back. Jessica was waiting for a social worker from child's services to come and talk to her about the possibility of getting her daughter back. She thought about where Chrissy was. She had been told that a woman named Michelle had taken her in and was now in the process of filing for adoption. _No, Chrissy is _my_ daughter. I will not have some stranger adopting my daughter._ Jessica thought. _Not when I'm completely capable of taking care of her myself._

"Hello, you must be Jessica Anderson." A voice said. Jessica turned and saw a dark woman entering the room.

"Yeah I'm Jessica. Who are you?" Jessica asked.

"My name is Tess, I'm from child services." Tess the angel said as she sat at the table in Jessica's room. Jessica joined her. Tess ruffled through some papers.

"I understand you want custody of your daughter back." Tess said disapprovingly. Jessica raised her eyebrows.

"She's _my_ kid." She said plainly.

"I understand Ms. Anderson, but it's going to be more complicated than that. Ms. Anderson, you were charged with child abuse a year ago and you were heavily into drugs and alcohol. The odds are slightly against you." Tess said simply. Jessica sighed.

"That was a year ago. A lot has changed. I've turned my life around; I'm ready to take my daughter back." She said quietly.

"I understand how you're feeling Ms. Anderson, but we're concerned for the child's well being. The last time Chrissy lived with you, you were hitting her on a daily basis. How can we be sure that's changed?" Tess asked. Jessica rolled her eyes impatiently.

"I don't care if you believe me, but I know I'm different and I want my kid back. I don't care if you help me or not, my lawyer will help me get her back." She said with a confidant smile. "He should be here any minute now." Just then, a tall man entered the room and introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm your new lawyer. My name is Andrew." Andrew said. Tess turned and stared at him, for he was an angel too. The angel of death. Tess began to worry. Andrew was usually called on assignments if somebody was going to die, so he could bring them Home. Sometimes God sent Andrew just to help out with assignments, but they didn't always know for what reason Andrew was on an assignment.

"Hi Andrew. I'm Jessica. Tell me you'll help me get my daughter back." Jessica said with raised eyebrows. Andrew sat down.

"I'll do whatever I can to help you Ms. Anderson, but it's not going to be easy." He said truthfully. Tess had a bad feeling as she looked at Jessica. She had a gut instinct everything Jessica was saying was a lie. _Father, I do not believe she's changed, and if she hasn't, we cannot let Chrissy go back to her. Never. _


	4. The News

"Andrew's on assignment? Oh Tess, does that mean Chrissy-" Monica couldn't bring herself to finish as her and Tess sat on the front porch of Chrissy's house. Chrissy had just run inside to get some juice for the two of them. Monica had come over to her house every day since she started her assignment three days ago. Michelle was under the impression that Monica was from out of town and just visiting, which wasn't a lie, but Michelle had no idea an angel was visiting her foster daughter.

"Baby, you know Andrew doesn't always come when people die. Sometimes he's just here to help. You don't know yet." Tess explained. Monica sighed.

"So this is why I'm here for Chrissy." She said, since Tess had told her all about her meeting with Jessica. "Chrissy doesn't know yet, does she?"

"No baby, but she will soon. From what I heard at the child services office, Chrissy's social worker will be calling today. So brace yourself." Tess replied and with that, she left as Chrissy came back outside with two tall glasses of fruit punch. Snuffy was right on her tail. She handed a glass to Monica.

"Thank you." Monica said, feeling a bit distracted now that she knew what was going to happen. They suddenly heard the phone ringing inside and Monica felt her stomach sink.

* * *

Michelle hurried for the phone inside the house as she was just starting dinner. She managed to find the cordless phone under a pile of papers right after the fourth ring. 

"Hello." Michelle answered, a little out of breath.

"Hi Michelle, it's Sandra." Sandra, Chrissy's social worker greeted rather glumly.

"Oh hi Sandra. How are you doing? Are you calling to tell me the adoption has finally come through?" Michelle asked hopefully. When she heard silence on the other end, she began to worry.

"Michelle, I'm afraid we have to put a hold on the adoption." Sandra said bluntly. Michelle felt her stomach jolt and she could feel the color drain from her face.

"Why? What's preventing me from adopting her? I thought everything was going smoothly. You told me there wouldn't be any problems since I've already had her for a year." Michelle pointed out worriedly as she gazed out the window at the child who had become her own laughing with Monica.

"I know I told you that, but Michelle, we have a problem now." Sandra paused. "It's about Chrissy's mother."

* * *

"So you're 15 years old now, right?" Monica asked as she pet Snuffy. 

"Yeah, I actually just had my birthday. Michelle took me and my best friend Brandi to a movie." Chrissy replied.

"Brandi's the one you met at the group home, am I right?" Monica inquired.

"Yeah, she's still there but it's really close to here and we go to the same school." Chrissy explained. Monica nodded as Michelle came outside, looking upset. Chrissy looked up and knew something was very wrong.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Chrissy, I need to talk to you right now." Michelle said seriously. Chrissy looked at Monica, who nodded at her. Chrissy followed Michelle into their house and sat down in the living room on the couch.

"Michelle, what's the matter?" Chrissy asked worriedly. Michelle sighed.

"Chrissy, Sandra just called me." She started. Chrissy knew right away it was about the adoption.

"You aren't adopting me, are you? Something went wrong didn't it?" She asked, feeling tears forming.

"Chrissy, they're putting a hold on the adoption. There's something you need to know." Michelle paused, knowing how much this would hurt her. "Your mother was just released from rehab and she…she wants custody. She wants to take you back." Michelle watched as Chrissy's face paled.

"They-they can't let that happen. After what she did, how could they let her?" Chrissy asked through angry tears.

"It's going to court Chrissy; we don't know what's going to happen yet." Michelle replied slowly.

"I can't go back there Michelle, I can't!" Chrissy cried. Michelle grabbed Chrissy's arms and held her steady.

"Listen to me; I'm not going to let her take you back if I can help it Chrissy! I'm going to fight this. You've become my daughter; I don't care that it's not biological, but I'm going to get the very best lawyer so I can fight this." She said strongly as she embraced the crying girl.

Tess and Monica watched, unseen by Michelle and Chrissy.

"Ah Tess, there's no way they would let Jessica have Chrissy back, is there?" Monica asked worriedly. Tess sighed.

"I don't know baby. It's up to God now." She said quietly. "We just have to trust that He knows best.


	5. Relapse

Chrissy sat in her bedroom for the rest of the afternoon. She cried into her pillow silently. Michelle had tried to console her but Chrissy insisted she wanted to be alone.

"Chrissy, you shouldn't be alone right now. I'm here for you; please talk to me." Michelle had said, but Chrissy couldn't. She needed time to herself.

Snuffy lay quietly on the edge of Chrissy's bed, sleeping soundly, as Chrissy stood up and stared out of her large bayside window. She began having memories of her mother. She remembered all the times her mother would go out late at night to get drunk and leave Chrissy alone. She remembered all the times her mother would get angry and hit Chrissy, or throw her around. She remembered all the hurtful words her mother shot at her, and as the young girl relived these horrible experiences, more tears fell from her eyes. _I can't go back there, I can't!_ The pain was unbearable. As Chrissy went back to her bed and sat down, she felt a familiar feeling inside of her. A feeling she always felt when she couldn't deal with the pain. A feeling she had resisted for a little over a year. Chrissy's urge to cut herself was stronger than ever that day, and though she had promised Michelle to tell her whenever she felt this way, she couldn't bring herself to run to Michelle. She knew if she went to tell Michelle about the urge, Michelle would try to talk her out of it. Chrissy no longer had the desire to continue down this road of recovery. The pain was too much for her to deal with. _Why should I care? Who cares if I cut myself? My life is over anyway. Nothing will ever be good for me._ Chrissy thought as she quietly walked out of her bedroom and made her way to the bathroom down the hall. She could hear Michelle walking around downstairs, so she quietly opened the cupboard drawer next to the bathroom sink. Chrissy shuffled through the pile of junk in the drawer until she finally reached what she was looking for. A razor blade. She ran back to her bedroom and closed her door quietly. As she sat on her bed, she ripped off the plastic until the small blade fell into her lap. Chrissy felt a cold feeling rush through her as she stared at the sharp object she now held. There was no turning back now, she thought. With the awful images of her mother beating her up dancing in her mind, she placed the sharp object against her pale skin.

* * *

Michelle served up dinner and called Chrissy down once the table was set. She had managed to wipe away the last of her tears so Chrissy wouldn't see them. She felt sad that Chrissy didn't want to talk to her about all of this, but understood she needed space to understand just what was happening. Michelle was still trying to get her head around it herself. She had spent most of the afternoon praying to God; praying for some way to get out of this awful situation. _I can't lose her. I love her, Father. I don't want her to leave, and I especially don't want her going back to Jessica. That woman has hurt that little girl far too much and I don't want to sit around and let it happen again._ She had prayed as tears had run down her cheek.

Michelle watched as Chrissy entered the dining room. Michelle observed her foster daughter and noticed her red nose and the black circles under her eyes and knew she hadn't been the only one who had spent the afternoon crying.

"Hi sweetie." Michelle greeted quietly. Chrissy barely looked up as she sat down at the table. Michelle sighed and joined her, saying a quick grace for their dinner. Neither ate much of what was in front of them. Each had so many painful thoughts running through their minds. Michelle was so distracted; she didn't even notice that Chrissy had changed from her T-shirt into a long-sleeved sweater, even though it was 75 degrees outside. Chrissy hoped Michelle wouldn't notice and was glad she didn't say anything about it. Little did she know that someone else had noticed. Monica was watching, unseen by the two eating dinner.

"Tess, when I was with Chrissy earlier, she was wearing a T-shirt, and now she isn't. Has she-" Monica couldn't bring herself to imagine that Chrissy had gone back to her old habits. It hurt her to even remember all of the scars that resided on the young girl's arms a year ago. Tess, who had been with her all along sighed and shook her head.

"I don't know angel girl. I know she's feeling a lot of pain right now and I know what sorts of things she used to do when she felt that much pain, but she said she hasn't since the last time you were here." Tess said.

"Yes, but the last year has been great for Chrissy. I even saw her arms. She hasn't been cutting herself. She's been really happy. What is this going to do to her?" Monica asked.

"Chrissy is your assignment baby, not mine. I can't figure out everything for you. There are things you have to do on your own." Tess replied and left Monica alone, watching the family eating dinner. _Oh Father, I just pray this family will not get separated from each other. Please be present in their lives and please use me for Your purposes here._ Monica prayed silently as she stared at the long sleeves covering Chrissy's arms. _And please be with little Chrissy. Help her in every way. She really needs You._


	6. Recurring Nightmare

Monday morning, Chrissy got herself ready for school. She pulled a large sweater on over her T-shirt and immediately felt hot. She knew it was going to be 80 degrees outside today but she had given herself no choice. She couldn't wear a T-shirt in public; her new scars would be seen. She couldn't let that happen.

Chrissy grabbed her backpack and headed out the front door without saying goodbye to Michelle. She didn't want Michelle to see her in a sweater, because she might get suspicious. Michelle hadn't noticed the change of clothing the night before but Chrissy had been so wrapped up in her own emotions, she hadn't even noticed that Michelle hadn't noticed.

Chrissy walked slowly to school, kicking a stone along the way. She had so many thoughts racing through her head. She couldn't even begin to imagine what would happen if her mother was able to get custody back. _What if she hasn't changed? I can't go back to the way things were; I'll end up killing myself or something. I can't live with my mother; I love Michelle. I don't want to leave her._ She felt tears stinging her eyes but she kept them back. She thought about the scars she had placed on her wrists the day before. There was a part of her that felt guilty for not going to Michelle and telling her that she had wanted to cut herself. She had broken a promise to the most important person in her life and it broke her heart to think about, but it had been so impulsive. The pain had been too strong to think about anything else but cutting.

As Chrissy walked to school, she felt as though she were sentenced to a life of misery and pain. It seemed as though good things were never meant to happen to her. She had finally felt free from her mother when she had been arrested and charged and put into rehabilitation. Chrissy thought she would never have to deal with her mother again, but she had been wrong. Now she was facing the possibility of going back. As Chrissy thought more and more about the custody hearing, the urge to cut herself was strong again and she felt sick to her stomach, wishing she had brought her razor blade to school with her instead of hiding it under her mattress at home.

"Hey Chrissy, you okay?" Chrissy looked up startled and saw her best friend Brandi standing in front of her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't see you there." Chrissy replied, not even realizing she had arrived at school. She hadn't been paying much attention during her walk.

"No problem." Brandi stared at Chrissy's large blue sweater. "You _do_ know how hot it's supposed to be today, don't you?" Chrissy shrugged.

"I don't care, I just felt like wearing this." She said. Brandi knew better than to believe her friend. When they had spent time together in the group home, the two girls had realized they had a lot in common. Brandi was also a cutter and knew all about large, baggy sweaters and the excuses that came along with it. Brandi took Chrissy's arm and led her away from the crowd of students entering the school.

"You're not cutting yourself again, are you?" She asked in a low whisper. Chrissy bit her lip and stared hard at her friend.

"What if I am?" She asked in a rude tone. Brandi shook her head.

"You haven't cut yourself in a year! Why would you start again? You know first hand how hard it is to stop after you've started. Why would you want to go back to the hell that comes along with being a cutter?" She asked with raised eyebrows. Chrissy wanted to yell at her, but her best friend was right. Quitting was a very difficult thing to do, and Chrissy only managed to get through a year without cutting with the help of Michelle. Now she felt alone in the world; she felt like she was going to lose Michelle; she felt like nothing else mattered anymore.

"Look Brandi, it's my problem okay? I don't want to talk about it. Just don't tell anybody, especially the counselor at the group home and _especially_ not Michelle." Chrissy said quietly as she began to walk away. Brandi stopped her.

"Chrissy, please think about this. I think it's amazing how you were able to stop; I'm still working toward that goal; I'm sure you don't want to go back to that lifestyle, especially knowing firsthand how scary it can be." She said desperately, staring at her best friend with pleading eyes. Chrissy stared at her friend and felt too angry and hurt to say anything meaningful.

"It's a little late now." Chrissy turned and walked into the school, leaving her best friend behind.

* * *

Lunchtime arrived and Chrissy found she was not hungry. She avoided Brandi all day, not wanting to deal with the fact that her best friend knew what was going on. So instead of meeting Brandi in the cafeteria like she always had, Chrissy snuck into the girl's bathroom and hid herself in one of the stalls. She lifted her hand up and noticed it was shaking. She felt lightheaded and wished so desperately she had her razor blade with her. She knew that would make her feel better. She couldn't explain how, but she knew it would.

She dropped her backpack on the floor of the bathroom and emptied it of its contents, searching for anything with a sharp edge. _Come on, there's gotta be something. I can't wait another three hours. I need something now!_ She thought desperately as she scanned through her belongings. Just when she thought it was hopeless, she came across her math compass. She held it in her hand and stared at the sharp edges, breathing a deep sigh of relief. Chrissy quickly put the remaining items back in her bag and lifted up her sleeve, feeling better already.

* * *

Chrissy managed to get through the rest of the day avoiding Brandi and she stepped out of the school, feeling the hot sun beating down on her. She sighed, wishing she were wearing a T-shirt like the rest of the students, but she had sentenced herself to this grueling heat when she had placed the razor blade against her skin.

She began to walk home, head hung low, thinking about everything that had happened to her in the last few days. She had been so happy when Monica had showed up, happy to see an old friend who had helped her through so much, but now it all made sense to Chrissy. _Monica told me last year she would be back when I needed her the most. Well, I haven't seen her since Sandra called so that's a lot of help._ Chrissy thought bitterly as she approached her house slowly, scuffling her feet as she stepped up the front steps.

"Hello Chrissy." An Irish accent greeted. Chrissy looked up and saw Monica standing next to the door, smiling a little. Chrissy stared at the angel and sighed.

"You knew about this, didn't you? You told me when you first got here you didn't know why you were here, but you did didn't you?" Chrissy asked angrily. Monica shook her head calmly.

"No little one, I didn't know. Angels don't always know everything; just like I don't know what's going to happen next, but I do know that God will be with you every step of the way; and I'll be here too." She explained quietly. Chrissy shook her head.

"Why would God bring me here to such a wonderful place only to be taken from it?" She asked with bitter tears in her eyes.

"You don't know you'll be taken away yet, love. You still have to go to a hearing. You have to have hope that God will help you. All you have to do is ask." Monica said, knowing this truth from experience. Chrissy sighed and looked down. She didn't say anything for a long time, until she finally sank down and sat on her front steps. Monica hesitated, but then joined her, kneeling down on the porch.

"I'm sorry if I sounded angry, I just don't know what to do with myself." Chrissy apologized quietly, pinching her sweater sleeves tightly between her fingers. Monica took notice.

"It's quite a hot day today." She pointed out. Chrissy shrugged.

"I hadn't really noticed." She lied, wanting so badly to retire to her bedroom where she could take off this heavy sweater.

"Chrissy why are you wearing a sweater on such a warm day?" Monica asked, coming right out with it. Chrissy looked up immediately into the eyes of the angel who had been there during the most difficult time in Chrissy's life last year. Chrissy didn't know how to answer Monica's question, especially knowing she was an angel, but she answered it in the same way she always answered that question.

"I think I'm getting sick actually. I've been freezing since I woke up this morning." She answered quietly, her voice shaking a little, not sure if she would buy it. Monica only smiled sympathetically.

"Little one, you might be surprised to learn you cannot lie to an angel." She said with a wink. Chrissy stared at her for a moment, not knowing how to react. She knew Monica already knew her secret; she had discovered it a year ago when she had been put on assignment in Chrissy's house. Chrissy knew before she even answered Monica's question that Monica would know the truth. She was an angel from God; God was truth and Chrissy knew all along Monica would know the truth.

Chrissy felt a tear roll down her cheek and that was when she lost it. She buried her face in her hands, crying softly, trying to hide her tears from the angel in front of her. Monica came closer and took the young girl's hands in her own, pulling them away from her face so she could look into Chrissy's eyes.

"Why? Why did you do it?" She asked quietly, her face as caring and sympathetic as Chrissy had remembered. Chrissy sniffled and looked up at Monica with a tear-streaked face.

"I-I don't know." She answered honestly, feeling ashamed and unworthy to being the presence of one of God's angels when she had done something so wrong.

"Why didn't you tell Michelle? I thought you told me you had an agreement with her to go to her if you felt like you were going to cut yourself." Monica pointed out, still holding Chrissy's hands in her own. Chrissy looked away angrily.

"Why should I bother with that stupid promise? It's not like I get to stay here; I'm going to lose her, Monica. I'm never going to see her again, so why keep any promises?" She asked bitterly. She continued to cry anger tears and before Monica could say anything more to comfort the crying girl, Michelle opened the front door and came out, staring down at Chrissy, who quickly dried her tears.

"Chrissy, I was starting to get worried. You're a little late." She paused as she noticed Chrissy's sniffles. She knelt down as Chrissy turned her face away. "Have you been crying sweetie?" Chrissy stood up and turned to walk into the house.

"No, I'm fine; I just want to be alone." She walked into the house, running straight to her room. Michelle sighed as she watched her storm off. Monica stared at Michelle and offered a smile.

"You're doing everything you can do. You're loving her and you're being strong for her." Monica said reassuringly. Michelle rolled her eyes a little as tears were forming in her eyes.

"You know Monica, I don't feel strong. I'm trying so hard to be there for her, but this is killing me. I may lose her. We've become a family and now they want to take her away from me." Michelle sat down on the porch next to Monica and held her head in her hands, taking a deep breath. Monica put a hand on Michelle's shoulder, a touch that was so gentle and calm.

"You don't know what's going to happen, Michelle. Only God knows that." She said and Michelle nodded.

"I know, but Monica, Jessica was abusive to Chrissy. I know she claims she's changed her ways, but I have a bad feeling about it. I want Chrissy to be safe and selfishly, I want that to be with me." She admitted and Monica nodded, understanding perfectly.

"That's not selfish, Michelle. You love that little girl as though she were your own, a feeling Chrissy has never had before. Before you came into her life, Chrissy didn't even know what love was, but you changed that for her." Monica said with a quiet, reassuring voice that calmed Michelle, and even made her smile.

"It's strange; I feel comfortable talking to you, and I barely even know you." She pointed out as she stared at Monica's deep brown eyes that seemed to carry so much wisdom and insight. Monica smiled.

"You'd be surprised at how much easier it can be to talk to a complete stranger than it is to tell your loved ones that you're hurting."

* * *

Chrissy observed her arm, now covered in fresh cuts, as she held a white cloth firmly in place to stop the bleeding. She had pulled out her razor blade when she first entered her room, wasting no time. She was brainwashed by the captivating feeling of release, and the sight of the blood on her arm, something real, something she could trust. She had forgotten about all the hard work it took to make it a whole year without cutting, she had forgotten about the promise she had made to Michelle, she had forgotten everything. The only thing she could dwell on was the pain, and the fear that she would be taken from the one person who understood and loved her. 


	7. Running

**Chapter Seven: Running**

It was the next day, and Chrissy was sitting across from her counselor, Wendy, who she had been seeing for over a year now. Wendy was a counselor who worked at the group home Chrissy had first come to, and had been counseling her ever since. She noticed Chrissy seemed different today, and she had already been informed by Sandra, Chrissy's social worker, about her mom fighting for custody, so she had expected Chrissy to be somewhat depressed, but Chrissy was completely evasive today, which was odd for her, who was usually quite chatty during their sessions.

"You're pretty quiet today Chrissy. Is there something you want to talk about?" Wendy asked as she pulled her glasses off for a moment. Chrissy leaned back against the arm chair and sighed.

"No, I don't really feel like talking today." She said quietly, pinching her sleeves tightly over her hands. Wendy noticed immediately, and knew the patterns of a cutter. Constantly looking down, as though making sure scars were well hidden, long baggy sweaters. Wendy had a feeling, but when she asked, Chrissy reacted very defensively.

"It's cool out today. It's like 68 degrees. There's nothing wrong with wearing a sweater when it's cool outside. You're wearing long sleeves." Chrissy pointed out with a bit of anger in her voice. Wendy sighed, and guessed it was pretty obvious that Chrissy didn't want to talk today. She obviously wasn't going to talk about how she was feeling about her mother trying to get custody back, so Wendy decided to cut the hour short.

"I guess I'll see you next week." Wendy said as she stood to open the door for Chrissy. Chrissy walked out without a word and walked right past Michelle, who was sitting down, waiting for her. Chrissy left the building without a word. Michelle sighed and turned to Wendy.

"Just be patient, Ms. Long. She's hurting a lot right now and she's very confused. The best thing you can do for her is to be there for her, but respect that she might need some space." Wendy explained as she smiled sympathetically. Michelle sighed.

"I know." She paused. "How was she today?"

"Well, you know what goes on in there is usually confidential, but I feel I have to tell you that I think she may be cutting herself again." Wendy replied truthfully. Michelle's eyes widened and she turned in the direction where Chrissy just walked out and then back to Wendy.

"What? Are you sure?" Michelle asked, shocked that she hadn't even noticed.

"No, I'm not, but the signs are all there. Long sleeves, pinching the sleeves to make sure they don't roll up. When I asked her about it, she got really defensive, which is a typical reaction for a cutter." Wendy explained. Michelle's mind was racing. Now that she thought about it, Chrissy had been wearing long sleeves for the last couple of days. She had barely noticed though; she had been thinking too much about the hearing. _What a horrible mother I am._ Michelle thought and just as thought Wendy had read her thoughts, she placed a hand on Michelle's arm.

"You can't blame yourself. This is a tough time for you too. I would try to talk to her about it, but don't push, okay? Chrissy is really unsure of things right now, she just really needs you to keep loving you." Wendy said. Michelle nodded.

"I know, and trust me," She smiled. "I could never stop loving her."

* * *

Chrissy stood in front of the car, pacing back and forth anxiously, wanting to get home and go up to her room, where the blade was waiting for her. As she waiting for Michelle impatiently, she was joined by Monica, who had just appeared.

"Hello little one." Monica greeted. Chrissy sighed.

"I know what you're thinking you want to do. Chrissy, you know it won't make you feel better. It will only make things worse." Monica tried to explain. Chrissy looked at her with her deep brown eyes.

"How do you know? Things are already worse. Who cares if I do it or not?" She said with a hint of bitterness.

"I do, and God does too. Michelle cares very much, and you know it." Monica said, and even Chrissy couldn't argue that, but thinking about it made her feel worse.

She grasped her head in her hands and bent down, feeling so angry and so tense that she just wanted to scream. Monica, being the emotional angel that she was, could feel her own tears coming on. She hated seeing the girl who had grown so much in the last year experience a complete relapse. Monica wanted so badly to help her, but every time she had prayed about her, God kept telling her to be patient. The time would come. Monica felt so frightened though. _What if Jessica is granted custody? What if she hasn't really changed?_ Monica couldn't bring herself to think about it, and she knew it was these very thoughts that were affecting Chrissy so greatly.

Monica put her hands on Chrissy's arms, and Chrissy looked up. Her face was so pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was straggly, as though it had not been brushed and as Monica looked at her, she couldn't help but notice that Chrissy looked just as she had when Monica had first met her a year ago.

"God has not forgotten you, little on, and nor have I. You have to be patient and continue to trust. More importantly, you cannot shut people out when you need people to help you." Monica said as Chrissy looked past her and noticed Michelle was coming out of the building. Chrissy sighed, feeling herself growing more tense, and when she looked back to where Monica had been standing, she noticed Monica had already disappeared.

"Ready to go hun?" Michelle asked as she unlocked the doors. Chrissy nodded as she sank into her seat, shutting the door behind her. Michelle sighed, thinking about what Wendy had just told her about the possibility of Chrissy going back to her old ways. Now that Michelle thought about it, Chrissy had been spending an awful lot of time in her bedroom. _I should have talked to her about this. I should have known this whole mess might trigger her to want to cut herself again._ Michelle lowered herself into the driver's side of the car and paused for a moment to look over at the young girl who stared out the window without a single word.

As Michelle started up the car, she wondered how she would bring up the topic with Chrissy. She knew Chrissy was a little out of sorts right now and didn't think Chrissy would feel like talking about anything, even with Michelle, but Michelle cared too much about the young girl to forget about it.

* * *

When Michelle pulled up into their driveway, the two got out of the car, and walked up to the house, as Snuffy barked excitedly from the window. Michelle pulled out her key and unlocked the front door, allowing Chrissy to go in first. Michelle noticed Chrissy went straight to the staircase, ready to go right to her room.

"Chrissy, hold on a minute." Michelle shut the door. "Can you come into the kitchen please? I need to talk to you." Chrissy had never been one to be disobedient, even if she was upset and angry, so Michelle was a little surprised when Chrissy hesitated slightly. Chrissy sighed and finally went into the kitchen, and sat down at the table, as Michelle lowered herself into the chair across from Chrissy. There was a dead silence that echoed against the walls, causing a heightened awkward feeling.

"How did it go with Wendy?" Michelle asked, hoping Chrissy might bring it up on her own, but Chrissy merely shrugged, staring down at her folded hands the whole time. Michelle knew she was beating around the bush, and decided to just come out with it. She had always encouraged complete honesty in the household, but she couldn't help but feel anxious about asking Chrissy about a very sensitive topic, especially at a very sensitive time in both of their lives.

"Listen Chrissy, I was talking to Wendy today. I don't want you to get upset, because Wendy would never break confidentiality unless there was something serious going on, but she believes there is something serious going on. I need you to be honest with me sweetie, no matter how upset or angry you are." Michelle paused, aware her heart was beating faster now. "Are you cutting yourself again?"

She waited. Chrissy made no reaction of any kind. She didn't react defensively, she didn't appear shocked by the accusation, she didn't even look up. Michelle noticed Chrissy appeared somewhat torn about whether or not she should answer. It was that familiar expression Michelle could remember from when Chrissy had first come to live with her and she wasn't sure how to talk about her problems. There was always that sense of unsureness, of whether or not it was safe to express her feelings openly.

Michelle noticed the same ambivalence in Chrissy now.

"I've noticed the long sleeves and I know things are really stressful right now, but I don't want you to cut yourself. I want you to be able to come to me if you feel like you want to cut yourself." Michelle continued but again, all she got in response was silence. She knew Chrissy well enough to know that if she really wasn't cutting herself, she would have spoken up enough to let her know that much was true. Chrissy had been very proud of her accomplishment of making it a year without cutting, and would have been upset at an accusation that wasn't true about something that was so important to her. Michelle could tell, by Chrissy's silence, that she had succumbed to the blade once again.

"Let me see." Michelle said quietly, looking over at Chrissy's covered arms, which rested on the table. Chrissy looked up, shocked.

"What?" Chrissy asked, pulling her arms off the table quickly. Michelle sighed, needing to know how bad it was.

"Your arms. I want to see how bad they are, Chrissy." She said again and was surprised when Chrissy shook her head.

"No." She said simply, and Michelle could see tears brewing in her eyes, as if it hurt her deeply to disobey, but she stood firm. "I'll be in my room." And she left the room slowly, as if waiting for Michelle to call her back, but Michelle didn't.

She let her go.

Unseen by the two girls, Monica and Tess had surveyed the whole situation. Monica wiped a tear away with her sleeve as she watched Chrissy walk out of the kitchen toward the staircase, with Snuffy following close at her heels.

"Oh Tess, Michelle and Chrissy were so close. Why are they so distant, especially now when they need each other the most?" Monica wondered, as she peeked into the kitchen to see Michelle gripping her hair tightly, struggling to keep her tears back.

"Well baby, the custody hearing is in three days and the sooner that approaches, the more anxious and nervous these two humans are going to be. It's very hard for them, you know. Michelle may lose the only child she's ever known, and in a way, Chrissy may lose the only true mother she's ever known." Tess explained, feeling saddened herself. Monica sighed angrily.

"It isn't fair, Tess. Jessica is not a good mother, and Chrissy had to deal with that for the first 14 years of her life, and now that she finally was able to escape that and experience real love, they want to take that away from her." She stated, and Tess sighed.

"Angel baby, we still don't know what's going to happen. Andrew and I working really hard with Jessica to see if maybe she'll realize on her own what would be best for Chrissy, but Jessica is set on the idea that Chrissy is _her_ daughter, and she wants her back. She's very determined, baby, and that worries me." She explained with a sad expression on her face.

"I just don't understand my role in all of this. Chrissy wants answers and she keeps asking me for them. I just wish God would tell me what would happen so I could be at peace." Monica explained and Tess glared at her with raised eyebrows.

"Well how do you think Chrissy feels? If you feel frustrated and anxious, how much more worried do you think she's feeling?" Tess asked. Monica lowered her head.

"I know. I just wish I could help her more." She admitted.

"You are helping her, baby, and God will tell you what you need to know, when you need to know it. I keep on telling you that. You just have to trust me, and you especially need to trust God." Tess replied.

Monica watched as Michelle poured herself a cup of tea. _Oh Father, please give Michelle strength to help Chrissy, but also to feel at peace herself. I know You are in control. Please keep these two together._


	8. Reminders

**Chapter Eight: Reminders**

Michelle sadly watched from her bedroom window as Chrissy trudged slowly down the street, headed for school. Michelle hadn't heard a word out of Chrissy since their talk the previous day. Chrissy hadn't come down for dinner, but Michelle was sure she heard her rummaging through the refrigerator late at night.

Michelle left the window and continued with her morning routine. It was Wednesday, her day off, so she didn't have to rush through anything. She had no desire to, anyway.

She made her way downstairs as she headed into the kitchen to clean up from breakfast. She noticed Chrissy's plate still had quite a few eggs left over. Michelle sighed. _Not eating and now she might be cutting herself. God, what am I supposed to do?_ She was interrupted by the sound of her telephone ringing. She feared answering it, knowing it would probably have something to do with the hearing. She was right.

"Hi Michelle, it's Sandra." Chrissy's social worker greeted as Michelle felt her stomach drop.

"Hi Sandra." She paused. "Please tell me you have good news."

"I wish I did, but the hearing is still on for Friday. I'm sorry." Sandra was sincere, and knew how much this was hurting Michelle. Michelle let out a sigh.

"I guess I already knew that. Don't be sorry Sandra. I know you can't control any of this." She said as she sat down.

"I know this is hard on you guys." Sandra pointed out sympathetically.

"To be honest, I think it's been harder on Chrissy."

"She's not doing too well, huh?"

"No. I have reason to believe she may be cutting herself again." Michelle waited as Sandra let out a long sigh.

"I thought she was done with that." She said. Michelle closed her eyes.

"Yeah, so did I."

"Did you talk to her about it?"

"I tried to. She didn't say anything. She refused to let me see her arms and she left the room. I didn't see her at dinner and she hasn't spoken to me since."

"Michelle, this is a tough time for both of you. I want you to know we're doing everything we possibly can to make sure Chrissy is safe." Sandra paused. "That's why I'm calling actually. In these situations, the courts have to set up a meeting between the mother and the daughter, which is observed and recorded. It's to see if Jessica is true to her word about being a different person."

Michelle felt outraged and she immediately felt her face growing hot.

"What do they think that's going to do? I mean, Jessica could easily lie, put on a mask, pretend she's changed. How are we supposed to know if she's really changed?" She asked, surprising herself when she slammed her fist on the table, causing a cup to tip over.

"Chrissy knows Jessica better than any of us. She'll know if there's a difference." Sandra replied.

"But Chrissy's only 15. Will the judge actually listen to what she has to say? Do they even care?" Michelle asked, feeling her body growing tense with worry and stress.

"I don't know Michelle, but this meeting is mandatory and it's scheduled for today." Sandra said and Michelle felt her heart skip a beat.

"Today? Why didn't I know about this sooner?"

"I just found out. The courts don't give a lot of notice with these things. I'm sorry. Chrissy is expected to be here at the Group Home by 4:00p.m. Michelle, you're allowed to be there, but you cannot be in the room with Chrissy when she meets with her mother."

"I don't think Chrissy can handle that."

"Whether she can or not Michelle, we can't stop it."

* * *

Michelle hung up the phone with Sandra after she said a quick goodbye and the tears began to fall. She felt so helpless, so out of control. All she wanted to do was protect Chrissy from the woman who abused her for 14 years and now they wanted to put them in a room together to figure out whether or not Jessica had changed.

_A leopard never changes its spots._ Michelle thought bitterly as her memories took her back to the previous year when she had been talking to Sandra about taking Chrissy in as a foster child. Sandra had told her all about Chrissy's past and about her mother and when Michelle met Chrissy for the first time in the dormitory, her heart was broken. The young girl had tried to hide her sliced up arms, and there were still fresh bruises on her face from when Jessica had put them there. Chrissy's eyes were deep and painful that day, filled with years of misery, rejection and abuse and Michelle had been so blessed to watch her come out of that and become a happier young girl who no longer needed to cut herself.

_Now they want to let Jessica take her?_ Michelle was trying to trust God, but it was getting harder.

* * *

It was 3:15p.m. and Chrissy was just leaving the school. She could feel her arms singing from the fresh cuts she had made at lunch that day. Chrissy had surprised herself at how much she had cut herself that day, but she ignored the pain, as she had trained herself to do.

Brandi had tried to approach her a few times at school, but Chrissy had managed to avoid her. She loved Brandi to death, but she knew that Brandi would continue to ask about the cutting and try to talk her out of it. _And now Michelle knows._ Chrissy thought as she remembered Michelle approaching her the day before about the cutting. Chrissy could not lie to Michelle. No matter how angry she was or how confused she was, she could not look Michelle in the face and say she was not cutting herself..

As Chrissy walked home, her mind wandered and she began thinking about the hearing that was in two days. Chrissy wanted nothing more than to step off the face of the earth until the whole mess was over.

She was greeted by Snuffy in the front entrance of the house. Chrissy bent down and scratched behind his ears. As Snuffy rolled over on to his back, Chrissy began rubbing the dog's tummy, and she failed to notice Michelle had come out to greet her as well.

"Hi sweetie." Michelle greeted, trying to sound cheerful. Chrissy looked up in surprise.

"Oh, hi." She replied meekly. Michelle watched as Chrissy awkwardly picked up her backpack and headed for the stairs.

"Hold on Chrissy, we need to talk." Michelle said as Chrissy stopped on the second step. Chrissy sighed.

"I don't feel like it right now." She said, indifferently.

"Well I'm sorry Chrissy, but it has to be right now." Michelle replied, feeling impatient. Chrissy seemed to be considering something for a moment when she finally sank down and sat on the stairs. Michelle braced herself and walked over to stand in front of Chrissy.

"We have to go out now." Michelle started, unsure about how she was going to tell Chrissy about her mother.

Chrissy puckered her brow.

"Where? I have homework." She replied. Michelle nodded.

"You can do it when we get back. We have to go to the Group Home." She said.

"Why?" Chrissy asked. "Are you making me see Wendy again?"

"No. Listen Chrissy, I want you to know I had nothing to do with this. I tried to stop it, but the courts require it, so we have to do it." She watched as Chrissy seemed to be growing more apprehensive and she wanted nothing more than to hold Chrissy close and never have to deal with any of this disaster.

"They want to see if Jessica, your mother has changed. They want to put you in a room with her, while they observe you." Michelle explained slowly, watching Chrissy's eyes widen and grow more intense with fear. Chrissy swallowed hard.

"Alone?" She questioned.

"I'll be there sweetie, but I won't be able to be in the room with you and Jessica." Michelle replied as she watched the color drain from Chrissy's face. Chrissy looked down and gave no response.

"Chrissy, are you okay?" Michelle asked quietly as she knelt down on the floor to be eye level with Chrissy. Chrissy didn't move; she only dropped her backpack on the stairs and looked away.

"Chrissy." Michelle tried again, but Chrissy stood up and came down the stairs, passing Michelle completely and walked out the front door toward the car. Michelle felt uneasy about the whole situation as she stood and grabbed her purse. As she was locking up the house, she peered over to see Chrissy sitting sulkily in the front seat of the car. Michelle lifted her head toward Heaven and asked God to give Chrissy strength for the difficult task that was ahead of her.

* * *

Chrissy could feel her heartbeat quicken as they pulled into the circular driveway at the Group Home. Chrissy knew her mother was in there somewhere, waiting to meet her for the first time in a little over a year. Chrissy didn't know what to expect; had Jessica really changed, or was it all just an act? _She's always been a good liar. _Chrissy was terrified, but she tried her best not to show it, especially in front of Michelle. She didn't want to appear weak to Michelle. She didn't want Michelle to comfort her; it hurt too much. 

Chrissy followed Michelle into the building and down a set of stairs Chrissy had never noticed before. At the bottom, they were greeted by Sandra, who gave Chrissy a small hug. Chrissy noticed a large wall of glass in front of her, where she could see a table and two chairs on the other side. She knew it was a two-way mirror, and she knew that would be where she would face Jessica, by herself.

"Well you guys are a little early. Jessica isn't here yet, but I'd like you to meet some people. This is Tess from child services. She's been reviewing Jessica's case." Sandra said more to Michelle than she did Chrissy, who didn't appear to be paying much attention. Tess smiled and shook Chrissy's hand.

"Hello baby, how are you today?" Tess asked in her usual chipper voice. Chrissy didn't answer, she only stared at her with dark eyes.

"Chrissy." Michelle prompted as she gently tapped Chrissy on the shoulder. Chrissy sighed.

"Fine." She answered quietly, eyes locked on the ground. Tess ignored her rudeness, understanding the young girl was dealing with a lot at the moment.

"This is Andrew. He's Jessica's lawyer." Sandra pointed to a tall man who was standing beside Tess. He came forward and shook both of their hands. Chrissy didn't say anything, but Andrew, being an angel, knew exactly what she was thinking. _You're the man who's helping my mother take me away from the only person I've ever known how to love._ Andrew wanted to offer words of comfort to the young girl, but knew he had to stay in character.

"Chrissy, I need you to come with me sweetie, okay? Michelle will be right here on the other side watching and she'll be here when this is all over, okay?" Sandra said as she gave a reassuring smile to Michelle, who gave a little nod to Chrissy, who followed Sandra hesitantly into the glass room. Chrissy could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she fought to keep them back. Sandra explained some things to her, but Chrissy's mind was elsewhere. She was saying something about how important it was for her to be calm and collected.

Chrissy sat at the small steel table as Sandra squeezed her shoulder with a smile, and left the room, saying Jessica would be in shortly. Sandra shut the door behind her, and Chrissy knew she was already being watched. She stared at the large mirror that was see-through glass to everyone else. _She's going to put on a show. Of course she is; she's being watched. _Chrissy sighed and stared at her folded hands resting on the table. She felt so alone.

"Hello Chrissy." A familiar voice pierced through the silence. Chrissy jumped and there standing beside her was Monica.

"Monica." Chrissy whispered and she peered over to the mirror. "Can they see you?"

"No." Monica replied simply. Chrissy sighed.

"Great, now they're going to think I'm crazy." She said. Monica smiled and shook her head.

"They aren't watching right now, love. They're talking to each other. We're okay." She explained. Chrissy nodded, swallowing back her emotion.

"I know this is a frightening situation for you little one, but you know God is here with you." Monica said, trying to reassure the young girl.

"Has He told you anything about what's going to happen yet?" Chrissy asked, feeling impatient. Monica sighed, and shook her head.

"God's timing is perfect and He has this all worked out." She replied. Chrissy looked down with sad eyes.

"I don't understand why I have to do this. Don't they realize who she is and what she's done?" Chrissy asked, feeling angry. Monica knelt down and stared hard at the young girl whose eyes remained fixed on the wall.

"God has you in the palm of His hand and He won't let you fall. You have to put your faith in Him. This will be difficult Chrissy, but I will stay with you so you will not be alone." Monica said with a small wink. Before Chrissy had a chance to respond, she jumped at the sound of the door opening. Chrissy felt her heart leap in her throat as she saw the familiar woman enter the room slowly. Chrissy felt Monica's calming hand brush against her hair and rest on her shoulder. Chrissy noticed Jessica's differences immediately. Her face was fuller and her cheeks were a rosy pink instead of the thin, bony, pale face Chrissy remembered. She was wearing a long black skirt and a white short-sleeved blouse and there were no tracks noticed on her arms. Jessica's hair was pulled back in a clean ponytail and it was highlighted a light brown. It was much different than the greasy straggly hair Chrissy remembered. Chrissy barely recognized her when she walked in; she looked like a different woman. Monica bent down and brushed Chrissy's hair away from her ear.

"Be brave, little one. Try to stay calm and know that God is with you." She whispered quietly in the young girl's ear.

"Hello Chrissy." Jessica greeted in a quiet tone, one Chrissy had never heard before. Chrissy didn't reply, she only watched nervously as Jessica took a seat across from her. Chrissy looked at the mirror and felt slightly comforted to know Michelle was right there, waiting for her.

"Wow Chrissy, you look great." Jessica commented and Chrissy narrowed her eyes. Jessica had never said one nice thing to Chrissy, and Chrissy could hardly believe it.

"Thanks." Chrissy replied with her eyes down, in a quiet whisper. A long silence followed in which Chrissy could feel Jessica's eyes burning into her. A gentle hand squeezed Chrissy's shoulder to reassure her she was not alone.

"So Chrissy, what do you think? Do I look any better?" Jessica asked after the silence. Chrissy sighed and nodded, unsure of how she felt about the whole situation.

"Chrissy I've been through a lot this year, trying to overcome a lot. I managed to overcome my drug addiction and I've been through a lot of counselling. I've changed, Chrissy and I want you to come back to me. I've bought a nice house up in Canada, and I want us to start over." Jessica explained. Chrissy could feel herself wanting to say so much but the fear of her mother she still had deep inside was controlling her to keep her mouth shut.

"Chrissy." Monica bent down again and Chrissy listened. "Don't be afraid of her. You have a right to your feelings and you have a right to tell her." Chrissy felt a calming peace overcome her, and she stared hard at Jessica, and took a deep breath.

"You hurt me, a lot. You have no idea what it was like for me, and you never even cared. You didn't even know anything about me, and I'm supposed to be your daughter." Chrissy said, feeling every part of her body shaking. For a moment, Chrissy was sure she recognized the eye twitch Jessica always had, before she lost her temper, and Chrissy braced herself, but instead, Jessica began to cry.

"I know, and I'm ashamed of myself. It was just so hard after your father died. I didn't know how to be a mother." She wailed.

"Then why didn't you just put me up for adoption or something?" Chrissy yelled out, feeling a lot stronger than she had when she first arrived.

"I couldn't. I wanted to love you, I really did, I just had too many problems, but those problems are in the past now. I want to start over and be your mother." Jessica explained through her tears. Chrissy shook her head.

"Those problems aren't in the past. They've stayed with me. 14 years of abuse, mom. That doesn't just go away." She said firmly. Jessica looked almost desperate, and Chrissy couldn't figure out what was going on in Jessica's mind.

"I know it doesn't sweetie, but I want to show you I've changed and I can be a better mom. I just want you to give me a chance." Jessica said in a quiet voice, and Chrissy looked away.

"I'm happy where I am right now." She said quietly, as she crossed her arms. Jessica raised her eyebrows and sighed.

"With Michelle? She's not your mother, baby. You'll always only have one mother, and that's me. Nobody can be a better substitute than your real mother." She said simply, as she tapped the table in front of her.

"She's shown me more about what it means to have a mother than you have, mom. Don't take that away from me." Chrissy pleaded desperately. Now Chrissy was sure she saw that familiar anger in her mother's eyes, but there were no angry words to follow, but Chrissy recognized it all too well.

"I'll get you back Chrissy. You'll see, you'll be happier with me." Jessica stood to leave. "See you on Friday baby." She managed a small smile and walked out the door. Chrissy breathed out heavily, and Monica squeezed her shoulders.

"You did wonderfully. You were very brave." She whispered, and she disappeared as Sandra came into the room.

* * *

Tess, Andrew and Monica watched as Michelle and Chrissy left the Group Home together, exchanging no conversation. Tess and Andrew looked over to Monica.

"So?" Andrew questioned. Monica sighed.

"She finally stood up to her mother, but I don't know how much good that will do. Jessica does seem different. Is she just acting, Tess?" She asked. Tess sighed.

"When I first met Jessica at the rehabilitation clinic, she was a lot ruder with me than she was with Chrissy just now. It's hard to tell right now baby." She replied.

"If Jessica is lying, then she may be able to convince the judge that she's changed. If Jessica hasn't really changed, then Chrissy will not be safe with her." Monica said as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. Monica was always such a sensitive angel.

"What is it that you keep telling Chrissy, angel baby?" Tess asked as she put her hands on her hips. Monica looked down.

"To trust God." She said, ashamed.

"Practice what you preach, baby. Just trust the Father. He's in control. Remember that." Tess replied. Monica did trust God, but it was so hard to watch Chrissy, such a young girl, sink lower and lower into a depression that might only get worse if custody was granted to Jessica Anderson.


	9. Rekindled

**Chapter Nine: Rekindled **

Chrissy was scribbling in her History binder during second period at school the next day. Though her doodles were filled with bright colors and rainbows, she did not feel the least bit happy. She found she could not stop thinking about her mother, and how different she seemed from the woman Chrissy remembered. Seeing her for the first time in over a year had been a big shock, and Chrissy still couldn't believe how respectable her mother appeared to be. _It was fake; it had to be. There's no way she could have changed._ Chrissy sighed, feeling guilty for thinking so angrily and bitterly about her mother, but her memories still reflected the abusive woman her mother had once been.

Her thoughts drifted to the house Jessica had talked about. A house she had just purchased in Canada, wanting to start fresh, just the two of them. _Not only do they want me to go back to my mother, but they want me to go to another country? I'd never see Michelle again._ Chrissy could not allow herself to think about that, it hurt too much.

She couldn't believe the hearing was scheduled for the next morning. Every moment that passed brought Chrissy closer and closer to tears, and the tension inside of her increased greatly. She could barely keep herself focused on her teacher, who was teaching the class about the Cold War. Chrissy, however, did not retain a single word her teacher was saying. She continued to doodle, desperately trying to distract herself from the tempting blade hidden in her backpack.

Chrissy could feel Brandi's eyes on her throughout the class, but Chrissy never turned her head. She knew Brandi was worried about her, but Chrissy knew if she started talking to Brandi, she would have to confront the fact she was cutting herself again, and she wasn't ready for that. She didn't want to be told not to cut herself anymore; she still needed it.

Chrissy vaguely heard the bell ring for lunch and she grabbed her bag quickly as the class began to scramble toward the cafeteria. Brandi stayed behind, walking slowly, as though hoping Chrissy would catch up and talk to her.

"Chrissy, may I see you for a moment, please?" Ms. Rufus, the History teacher called as Chrissy stood from her desk. Chrissy sighed and watched as a disappointed Brandi left the room.

Chrissy stood in front of her teacher's desk, staring at the floor nervously. _Does she know?_ Chrissy wondered anxiously.

"Chrissy, I just wanted to know how you've been doing. Is everything alright?" Ms. Rufus asked, as she rested her chin on her hand.

"I'm fine." Chrissy lied, wanting so badly to get out of there. Wanting so badly to take out the razor blade. Ms. Rufus didn't look convinced as her eyes pierced through Chrissy, making her feel guilty for lying, but she stood her ground.

"Really, I'm fine. I'm just hungry." Chrissy said, feeling herself shaking. Ms. Rufus placed her hands gently on her desk with a sigh.

"Okay, but listen, if you ever need somebody to talk to-"

"Thanks." Chrissy left the classroom in a rush, heading straight to the girls' bathroom.

* * *

She breathed out slowly as she placed the blade on her scarred wrist, dragging it quickly across her skin, closing her eyes, blocking out the pain just like she had trained herself to do. She mechanically ran the sharp edge over her wrist over and over again, feeling so numb with pain, she failed to notice the amount of blood she was spilling. Her head was buzzing and when she opened her eyes, her vision was blurred. She took deep breaths as she already felt the tension alleviating. Something was wrong, though.

As she went to put her blade away, she noticed a very small puddle of blood on the bathroom floor, and her heart leapt into her throat. She quickly gazed at her wrist and quietly gasped. She had cut very deeply, without even realizing it, and blood was dripping down her arm, onto the floor. Chrissy suddenly felt sick, as the color rapidly drained from her face. She could feel her head spinning suddenly, and she nearly lost her balance.

She peered quickly out of the bathroom stall and saw the girls' bathroom was deserted. She was all alone. She quickly left her stall, running to the sink, and feeling herself growing hot. She turned on the cold water, thinking if she splashed some water on her face, she may feel better, but it was too late.

As the water continued to run, Chrissy saw everything go black as she fell to the floor, passing out.

* * *

"Yes and then she must have passed out. I think you should come right away." Chrissy heard a faint voice when she woke up. Her whole body was in a cold sweat as she took deep breaths and observed her surroundings. She looked up and saw a bright light, and she was surrounded by white walls, with shelves of medicine bottles and bandages. She knew she was in the nurse's office.

"No there's no fever." Chrissy peered out the door and saw Anna-Maria, the nurse, in the next room talking into the telephone. Chrissy sighed angrily as she knew Anna-Maria was talking to Michelle. _Great._ Chrissy thought bitterly as she managed to sit up a bit, leaning against the pillow that was behind her. She noticed her blue sweater on the edge of the bed, and she instinctively looked to her arms, which were completely exposed and bare. Her freshly cut wrist was bandaged up in gauze, and as Chrissy scrambled to pull her sweater on, she noticed a bright light in the room, and there was Monica, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Hello little one." Monica greeted with a smile. Chrissy zipped up her sweater as she stared at Monica with wide eyes, filled with tears.

"What happened?" She asked innocently, feeling somewhat scared. _What have I done?_ She thought.

"You fainted in the bathroom. Your friend Brandi came looking for you and she found you unconscious, and she got the nurse. They brought you here and Brandi went to her class. The nurse took your sweater off to cool you down, because you were really hot, and that's when she saw your cuts. So she wrapped it for you." Monica explained as the young girl nodded slowly. Her wrist was throbbing from pain as she took a deep breath, feeling herself getting stronger.

"Why did I faint? Was I hungry or something?" She wondered out loud. Monica already knew the answer and she also knew Chrissy would not like to hear it, but she felt that it was greatly important.

"Sweetheart, you cut yourself too deep. That's why you fainted." She explained and Chrissy's eyes widened with fear as she remembered all the blood coming from her cuts. _Oh my gosh, I didn't even feel it._ Chrissy heard footsteps coming from the next room and Monica had already disappeared. Anna-Maria came into the room, never looking Chrissy in the eyes at all. She had always been a grumpy old nurse, Chrissy thought, never really caring about the students. Anna-Maria simply grabbed Chrissy's un-bandaged wrist to check her pulse. She never said a word as she glared at her watch, pinching Chrissy's wrist between her fingers and thumb. Chrissy stared at the wall as Anna-Maria let go and began to leave the room. She turned to look at the troubled teen.

"Don't ever do that again. It's dangerous. I called your foster mom, she's on her way. Don't move." The nurse left the room, leaving the door open slightly. Chrissy could not contain her tears anymore. As they spilled over, she held her bandaged wrist gently, feeling her own fear overwhelming her. She had gone too deep, she had scared herself. _What if I had gone deeper? Would I have died?_ Chrissy couldn't bear thinking about it, but she realized in that moment how dangerous a habit it really was.

* * *

Chrissy was leaning against the pillow, feeling better when she heard voices outside the room. She tilted her head and saw Anna-Maria talking to somebody, but she couldn't make out who it was. She could hear them talking though.

"Thank you for coming." Anna-Maria said in her usual grumpy voice.

"Well thanks for calling me." Chrissy recognized the voice as Michelle's immediately, and she felt her heart racing as she sat up on the bed, twiddling her thumbs nervously.

"Is she okay?" Michelle asked, and Chrissy noticed her voice sounded a little scared and Chrissy felt guilty.

"She's fine, but I think I'll let her go home for the rest of the day. Maybe you should talk to her. I think there's something wrong with her." Anna-Maria said as she pointed to the room where Chrissy was sitting cross-legged on the bed, with a few tears in her eyes.

Michelle entered the room slowly and cautiously, looking at Chrissy with a genuine concern. Chrissy couldn't bring herself to look at Michelle; she felt embarrassed and afraid. She sat on the bed, hugging her knees tightly, sniffling silently as Michelle quietly approached the young girl. Michelle sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at Chrissy with misty eyes. She said nothing for a few moments; she just watched as Chrissy tried to hide her tears. Finally, after a short silence, Michelle spoke in a familiar comforting voice.

"Are you okay?" She asked gently. Chrissy, still looking at the wall, and feeling more tears welling up, nodded her head slowly. She sniffled and wiped her tears on her sleeve. Michelle nodded and stood up.

"Alright," She said. "Let's go home."

* * *

Monica sat on the roof of Chrissy's high school, watching as Michelle and Chrissy finally emerged from the school. The two walked side by side, Chrissy with her head down, Michelle looking over at her foster daughter every few seconds to see if she was okay. As they walked toward the car parked at the edge of the parking lot, Michelle hesitantly put her arm around Chrissy's shoulders, wanting nothing more than to comfort the young girl. Monica waited, afraid Chrissy would pull away, or ignore it, but she was surprised when Chrissy, after a few seconds, finally rested her head on Michelle's shoulder and Michelle looked over and smiled. She squeezed her tighter as they approached the car, and Monica smiled over the two, and then smiled toward Heaven. 


	10. Realization

**Chapter Ten: Realization**

Chrissy sat on the living room couch, hugging her knees to her chest. Michelle sat next to her, hands folded neatly in her lap as she looked at Chrissy carefully. They had just arrived home from the school and Michelle had been surprised when Chrissy didn't run straight to her room, but instead went into the living room and sat on the couch, and didn't argue when Michelle sat next to her. Michelle felt if there was ever the right time to talk about stuff, it was now.

"Sweetheart, are you sure you're okay?" Michelle asked after a few moments. Chrissy nodded, picking at a thread on the sofa.

"Do you think we need to go to the hospital or anything?" Michelle asked and watched as Chrissy shook her head nervously. Chrissy felt so much like she wanted to cry; she had really scared herself. She never thought she would ever cut herself too deeply, to the point of passing out. It was one of the most frightening experiences she had ever had.

"Chrissy, why won't you talk to me?" Michelle asked, catching Chrissy off guard. She hadn't expected Michelle to ask her that, and she immediately felt ashamed. She stared down at her bandaged wrist and began to cry quietly. She tried to hide it, but Michelle already knew.

"Sweetie, you used to tell me everything, but ever since this whole ordeal with the courts, you have barely spoken to me. I know you must be going through stuff, and I know you started cutting yourself because of it. Don't you remember I told you if you ever felt like you wanted to cut, you could talk to me? I meant it, you know. I want you to know you can come to me about anything." Michelle explained with glazed eyes. She had nothing but a genuine concern and unconditional love for the girl sitting in front of her, and all she wanted to do was help her. She hated seeing her go through so much pain, and it was unbearable for Michelle that Chrissy wouldn't open up to her. She was, however, surprised when Chrissy, after a few moments silence, spoke up.

"I can't." She finally admitted as she brushed a tear away. Michelle puckered her brow.

"You can't? What do you mean?" She asked. Chrissy shook her head.

"I just can't." She repeated. Michelle just stared at her, feeling helpless. She didn't know what else to do. She felt like she was losing the only daughter she'd ever known.

"What have I done Chrissy? Why have you shut me out? Are you angry at me?" Michelle asked as she swallowed back her own tears. Chrissy looked up with wide, hurt eyes as she shook her head quickly.

"No, of course not!" Chrissy said. She had never been angry at Michelle once, and it hurt her to know she had been acting that way.

"I was never mad at you." Chrissy whispered as she buried her face in her hands. Michelle stared at her intensely.

"Then why won't you talk to me?" She asked slowly. Chrissy could not longer contain it. She began to sob uncontrollably into her hands as she let her emotions out for the first time since she had found out about her mother wanting custody.

"I'm afraid, okay? I'm scared to death my mom will get custody and take me away and start beating me up again. I'm scared that I'll never get to see you again, or Brandi, or Snuffy. I'm scared that she'll take me so far away from anybody who knows the truth about her that she'll go back to her old ways. I'm scared to go back to that life. I'm scared, because I don't want to leave. I want to stay with you. I'm scared they'll take me away from you. I had to distance myself from you, I had to! I thought if I did that, it wouldn't hurt as bad if they did take me away. But it's not working! It's not! I love you too much, and I don't want to leave!" Chrissy was practically screaming with pain as the tears poured down her face. Michelle shifted over and took the crying girl into her arms and hugged her tightly.

"Oh sweetheart, I know you're scared. I'm scared too. I don't want to lose you either." She admitted as she stroked Chrissy's brown hair. Chrissy choked on her sobs as she gasped for air.

"I'm so scared of her. I'm so scared of her." She said, over and over again into Michelle's shoulder. Michelle pulled Chrissy out of the embrace and stared at her seriously.

"Then tell the judge that. When you're on that stand tomorrow, you tell them she scares you. You tell them all about what she put you through. Tell them Chrissy. It's very important you tell them." She said, and Chrissy nodded slowly, sniffling quietly. She breathed deeply as she stared into the familiar, caring eyes of the only mother she had ever really known.

"I love you Chrissy. I promise you I will fight my absolute hardest to keep you. I don't care what anybody else says, you're my daughter, and you always will be, no matter what happens tomorrow." Michelle said as she held Chrissy's hands in her own. Chrissy nodded, trusting her fully.

"I love you too." She said quietly. Michelle smiled slightly and then looked down at the gauze bandage around Chrissy's wrist and sighed.

"Do promise me though; you'll come to me if you feel like you want to cut again. I don't want this to happen again, and I want you to trust me." Michelle said. Chrissy swallowed hard and looked at the bandage as well.

"I do trust you. I promise I'll come to you." She thought about how she had fainted, and how scared she had been. "I don't think I'll ever cut myself again."

"I'm glad, but remember, it's a process. But I'm still here for you." Michelle said. Chrissy stared at her, and began to cry again.

"But what if they take me away from you?" She asked. Michelle closed her eyes, not wanting to confront it either, but staring into the young eyes of the girl in front of her, she knew she had to.

"I'll still be here for you. I'm always going to love you sweetie, no matter where you are." Michelle kissed Chrissy on the head. "But I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you stay here with me."

It was 10:00p.m. and Michelle was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea, and doing her daily crossword puzzle. They had finished a late dinner a few hours ago, and Chrissy had gone up to her room to start some of her homework. Michelle hadn't let her go upstairs until Chrissy gave her her word that she would not cut herself. Michelle truly believed Chrissy when she said she wouldn't do it again. She knew Chrissy had really scared herself that day.

Michelle spent a lot of time in prayer, for a miracle. She couldn't bear to face the fact that if Jessica was granted custody, Michelle would have to say goodbye to Chrissy in less than 12 hours.

She placed her mug in the kitchen sink and ran some water in it. She decided she should at least try to get some sleep. _Chrissy should get some sleep too. Or at least try._ Michelle headed upstairs to say goodnight to Chrissy. She knocked quietly on Chrissy's door and heard no response. She grew slightly suspicious as she tried again, and still got no response.

"Chrissy?" Michelle gently called. No response. Michelle took hold of the doorknob and turned it carefully, entering Chrissy's bedroom.

She had to smile at the sight in front of her. Chrissy was fast asleep with her arm hanging over the side of the bed, with a heavy biology textbook beside her. Michelle tiptoed over to Chrissy's bed, and gently took the book off the bed, placing it quietly on the floor. She took Chrissy's arm carefully and placed it beside her on the bed. Chrissy stirred slightly as Michelle pulled her covers over top of her. Michelle didn't bother waking her up to change into her pyjamas. She figured Chrissy was exhausted, especially after such a frightening day.

Michelle leaned over and kissed her on the head.

"I love you Chrissy." She whispered, as she tiptoed toward the door, stopping to watch her sleep for a moment. As she finally turned off the lights and headed to her room, she was suddenly struck with despair when she realized that tonight could very well be the last night Chrissy spent with Michelle.

That night, Michelle cried herself to sleep.


	11. Retelling

**Chapter Eleven:** **Retelling**

Most mornings when Michelle drove to work, she wanted to avoid every red light, but the next morning, the day of the hearing, Michelle wanted nothing more than to hit every red light on the way to the courthouse. She peered over at Chrissy in the passenger seat, and knew she was wishing for the same thing.

The two of them had woken up earlier that morning and ate breakfast together. Then they spent some time in prayer to keep them calm and patient through the hearing. They had both shed some tears during the prayer, but neither of them cared. Michelle was just so glad Chrissy was talking to her now.

They had gotten dressed and left the house slightly early to make sure they didn't arrive at the courthouse late. They both knew in their hearts that this car ride may be the very last they would ever have together, and both were secretly wishing it would last forever.

Michelle peered in the mirror and noticed dark circles under her eyes, from her lack of sleep. She had spent most of the night checking in on Chrissy, who seemed to sleep right through the night. _At least one of us did._ Michelle thought as she turned the corner. They could see the courthouse in the near distance. Chrissy sighed and Michelle looked over and saw Chrissy tugging anxiously on her black shirt. Michelle smiled slightly.

"Chrissy, I think you look very pretty today." She complimented as she looked at Chrissy's khaki skirt and black shirt that had always resided in the back of her closet. Chrissy had never been one for skirts. Chrissy had to roll her eyes.

"I feel so girly." She confessed with the smallest hint of a grin.

"Hate to break it to you sweetie, but you are a girl." Michelle said, and they both laughed awkwardly, but it brought them both a little bit of peace, even just for a moment.

* * *

"Hello Chrissy." A familiar voice greeted when Chrissy and Michelle entered the courthouse. Chrissy looked over and saw Monica approaching her. Chrissy looked around nervously. Monica smiled.

"Don't worry little one, everybody else can see me as well." She explained. Chrissy smiled bashfully. Michelle was following close behind.

"Hello Michelle." Monica greeted.

"Oh hey Monica. How are you?" Michelle asked politely.

"Fine, thank you. And you?" Monica asked. Michelle shrugged.

"We'll see." She turned to Chrissy. "I'll go find us a seat okay?" Chrissy nodded as Michelle disappeared into the main room. Chrissy took a deep breath and looked desperately at Monica.

"Has God told you anything?" She asked hopefully. Monica shook her head. Chrissy lowered her head, knowing that Monica would tell her to be patient and to have faith, but she didn't feel very faithful today. Monica knew exactly what Chrissy was thinking, so she didn't say it.

"How are things between you and Michelle?" Monica asked, gesturing to where Michelle had found a seat. Chrissy looked into the room and saw Michelle dabbing at her eyes with a Kleenex. That was when Chrissy lost it.

"Wonderful! Things are better than ever. We talked and it was really great and now, after today, I may never see her again! These people are heartless! They don't care about anybody's feelings! Michelle is the most important person in my life and now they want to take that away from me! And they don't even care!" She cried out angrily, as tears streamed down her face. Monica grabbed the young girl's face in her hands and made her look at the angel.

"I know you already know this, but you must have faith. You know God has your best interests at heart. That's what makes Him the Ultimate Parent. I don't know any better than you do what's going to happen today, but we cannot assume the worst. Believe in God, and tell the truth today. Just be strong and trust in God." Monica said as she watched Chrissy's tears fading, as the young girl nodded slightly.

"Okay." She said meekly as she wiped her tears away on her sleeve. Monica nodded as Chrissy entered the courtroom and joined Michelle, who was talking to a tall lady. Michelle turned and noticed Chrissy's tears immediately.

"Sweetie are you okay?" She asked. Chrissy sat down next to Michelle and nodded slightly.

"So you're Chrissy, huh? It's nice to meet you." The lady said as she extended her hand to Chrissy, who took it shyly.

"Chrissy, this is our lawyer, Ms. Rashid." Michelle introduced. Chrissy looked up at the woman with pleading eyes. Though she never verbalized it, it was almost as though Ms. Rashid knew exactly what she was thinking.

"I promise you both I will do everything I can to keep the two of you together, okay?" She said to Chrissy with a wink. Chrissy managed a small smile and nodded. Ms. Rashid smiled back and left to find her seat at the front of the courtroom. Michelle put her arm around Chrissy and squeezed her without a word. There was nothing left to do, but to have faith.

* * *

"All rise for the honourable judge Celia Hampton." A man in a dark suit stated as the select people at the hearing stood. Chrissy looked up and saw Jessica sitting at a table with her lawyer. She appeared to be confidant as the judge entered the room and took her seat, followed by everybody else. Chrissy swallowed hard and was suddenly aware of every part of her body shaking.

"We are here today to examine the case of Jessica Anderson, a 36-year-old woman who has spent the last year in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center after losing custody of her only daughter, Christina Leanne Anderson, who was 14 years old at the time of removal from the home. Jessica Anderson was reported as physically and emotionally abusive, as well as neglectful and unbalanced. We are here today to evaluate whether or not Ms. Anderson is capable of taking care of her daughter. We will decide today whether or not Ms. Anderson is fit enough to regain custody of Christina." Celia announced as she stared down at the file in front of her. Chrissy was breathing heavily as the judge eyed Ms. Rashid with a nod. Ms. Rashid stood up and faced the people.

"I'd like to call Michelle Long to the stand, please." She announced as Chrissy felt her heart leap into her throat. Michelle rubbed Chrissy's back quickly as she approached the stand. After she was sworn in, Ms. Rashid began asking her questions.

"Ms. Long, I understand that you are Chrissy's foster mother, is that correct?" Ms. Rashid asked. Michelle nodded with a smile.

"Yes, that is correct." She replied proudly.

"How long have you had her now?" Ms. Rashid asked.

"I'd say about a year."

"And how has that been?"

"Amazing, I love having her with me. It's been great getting to know her."

"I understand you were in the process of filing for adoption."

"Yes, that's true."

"So is it safe to assume then that you wanted to keep Chrissy for a more permanent basis?"

"Yes."

"Why is that, Ms. Long?"

"Well, I love her. I want to protect her and keep her safe. I want us to be a family." Michelle grew slightly teary.

"I'm sure you and Chrissy are very close."

"Yes, we are."

"I guess Chrissy tells you a lot of stuff, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, a fair bit."

"Has she ever mentioned anything about her mother, Jessica Anderson?"

"Yes, a few times."

"And, judging by what you've heard, what is your impression of Ms. Anderson?"

"Uh, well, from what Chrissy has told me, I would say she's a troubled woman who has hurt Chrissy greatly."

"And would you feel confidant that Chrissy would be safe if Ms. Anderson were granted custody?"

"I don't think so."

"Thank you Ms. Long." Ms. Rashid smiled slightly as Michelle stepped down. For the next hour, Chrissy listened to witness after witness take the stand.

* * *

"So, Monica, it is my understanding you rented a room with Ms. Anderson and her daughter a year ago, is that correct?" Andrew asked as he interrogated his fellow angel friend.

"Yes, that's correct." Monica replied, remembering the frightening nightmare that she had been assigned to a year ago.

"How would you describe the atmosphere?" Andrew asked.

"Very tense. Chrissy was always afraid to talk to me, because her mother forbade it. There was a lot of yelling on Jessica's part, and unreasonable demands placed on the young girl. Jessica would leave Chrissy alone almost every night while she went out. I don't think any 14-year-old girl should be left alone that late in the evening, especially in the neighbourhood she was living in." Monica replied.

* * *

"No, Chrissy was not emotionally well when she came to us." Wendy, Chrissy's therapist answered Ms. Rashid when it was her turn on the stand.

"You're saying that right after Chrissy was removed from the household, she was showing signs of emotional distress?" Ms. Rashid asked.

"Yes, she was very withdrawn at first, afraid to talk to anybody, and backing away from anybody who came near her. It's a mark of physical abuse that many children display quite often." Wendy replied.

"Do you think it is possible that the physical and emotional abuse Ms. Anderson bestowed upon Chrissy may have left permanent emotional distress?"

"Yes, definitely. Chrissy is a wonderful young lady, but there are still signs of depression and anxiety."

"How do you know this?"

"I am still seeing her once a week for counselling sessions at the group home."

"What do you think, in your opinion, might happen if custody was granted to Ms. Anderson?"

"Well, whether she's truly changed her ways or not, the memories Chrissy has of her mother will never go away and she may never be able to truly trust her mother."

* * *

A few other witnesses were called up to provide testimony; Sandra, Tess the social worker, a doctor from the rehabilitation clinic Jessica was released from as well as some of Jessica's old friends. Chrissy felt her stomach jolt when Ms. Rashid called up Jessica. Chrissy felt Michelle take her hand in her own and hold it gently. Chrissy felt better for a moment, until Jessica began answering Ms. Rashid's questions.

"Yes, I was released a couple of weeks ago." Jessica replied to Ms. Rashid's first question.

"And what exactly were you in rehab for, Ms. Anderson?" Ms. Rashid asked. Jessica seemed to shift nervously in her seat, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"Alcoholism and drug usage." She muttered quietly. Ms. Rashid raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"But I've changed. That's what rehab is for. I'm clean now." Jessica added, almost desperately.

"You say you've changed."

"I have. You heard the doctor. He said I've made a clean recovery."

"But does being clean make you a fit mother?"

"Yes."

"Isn't it true that there are physically and emotionally abusive mothers out there who have never laid their hands on a bottle of booze, or even came close to touching a joint?"

"Maybe, but I know myself better than anybody else. I've changed my ways completely. I'm ready to be Chrissy's mom again."

"Do you admit that you were abusive to Chrissy during her childhood and into her teenage years?"

"I hit her a couple of times. Chrissy has a big imagination. She sometimes tends to exaggerate the truth a little." Jessica said with raised eyebrows. Chrissy could feel herself growing hot with anger, as she was tempted to jump up and yell out that her mother was a liar. Michelle wrapped her arm around Chrissy to calm her down.

"How can the court be sure these mistakes won't happen again?" Ms. Rashid asked. Jessica smiled, with calm eyes.

"Everybody needs a second chance."

* * *

Chrissy continued to listen to Jessica's testimony, and she could feel her faith slipping through her fingers. Jessica was such a smooth talker; Chrissy didn't know how this was going to turn out, but she didn't feel very confidant anymore.

As Jessica stepped down, she peered over at Chrissy with a smile.

"We'll take a short recess here, and reconvene in 15 minutes to hear from our final witness, Christina Anderson. Then a decision will be reached." Celia Hampton tapped her gavel gently and left the room.

Chrissy felt like her whole world could collapse in just a matter of moments.


	12. Revelations

**Chapter Twelve: Revelation**

"I have to go to the bathroom." Chrissy said quietly shortly after the judge left the room. Michelle turned to Chrissy with a concerned expression.

"Chrissy, are you okay?" She asked, worried about Chrissy's reasoning for her bathroom trip.

"No I'm not." Chrissy replied honestly. "But I have to go to the bathroom."

"Do you have anything sharp with you?" Michelle asked, knowing full well she was being blunt, but she cared too much to worry about Chrissy's reaction. Chrissy shook her head slowly.

"No, I didn't bring anything, I swear." She said as she looked Michelle right in the eyes. Michelle stared back into those sad brown eyes and believed that even though Chrissy was experiencing pain beyond her years, she was telling Michelle the truth. She was not going to the bathroom to cut herself; Michelle knew it.

"Okay, I believe you. Make sure you come right back though okay? Your testimony is probably the most important one we'll hear, so we need you." She said as Chrissy nodded, leaving the room. Michelle watched her leave and sighed sadly. _God, in a matter of minutes, we'll find out what happens. Please be in control, please help us._

Chrissy heard somebody entering the bathroom as she finished up. She bent down to tie her shoelace, and then exited the bathroom stall.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Jessica was standing at one of the sinks, staring at Chrissy's reflection in the mirror. Chrissy swallowed hard, unsure of how Jessica was going to act. There was nobody watching them, no one-way mirror, no judge, and no lawyers. It was just the two of them. Chrissy suddenly felt very nervous.

"Well, look who it is." Jessica said in an almost friendly tone, but Chrissy was sure it was faked. Chrissy was silent as she just stared at her mother with wide eyes, feeling confused and angry. Jessica turned to face Chrissy and Chrissy stared at her with tears brewing in her eyes, as she shook her head. Her whole body was shaking from fury and anger for the woman who had made her life miserable and she wanted nothing more than to lunge at her violently, but instead, Chrissy spoke.

"You lied! You lied on the stand." She said through clenched teeth. Jessica grunted a laugh, and it sent shivers down Chrissy's spine. It was the same, familiar, heartless laugh she remembered hearing from Jessica for years. It was that familiar laughter that pierced through Chrissy's ears like a sharp pin, reminding her of past criticisms and putdowns, and of past beatings and screaming.

"Who cares? They've already said you have emotional problems; what makes you think they'll believe anything you have to say?" Jessica asked with her sarcastic tone. Chrissy shook her head.

"They'll believe me, and they'll believe other peoples' testimonies. Monica's, Michelle's, Wendy's. All I have to do is tell the truth." She replied, wanting nothing more than to have Michelle standing next to her; defending her, protecting her.

"No baby, you won't tell the truth. You're going to go back into that courtroom

and tell everybody about how much I've changed and how remarkable it really is. How when we met again for the first time in over a year, you were overcome with so many emotions and that you truly believe I've changed for the better. You're going to tell them all you want a second chance with your mother." Jessica said with hard, cold eyes, burning into Chrissy. Chrissy swallowed hard and she shook her head, trying hard to stand her ground, despite the deep fear she was feeling inside.

"No! I will not lie on the stand. You're the same woman you were a year ago. I don't want to be with you!" She yelled out. Jessica's face distorted in an ugly way as she flew forward and slapped Chrissy hard across the face. Chrissy stumbled backwards, shocked by the blow. Vivid memories of her mother's vicious beatings came rushing back, as her face stung unbearably. Chrissy felt tears welling in her eyes as she backed up nervously into a wall, staring at her mother, who cornered Chrissy, staring into her eyes.

"I have been through a year of hell, with all these crazy doctors having to hold me down while I was shaking from withdrawal! Do you have any idea how horrible that is? To want nothing more than to have one bottle of beer and they look at you like you're a criminal? No. They are the criminals!" Jessica gestured in the direction of the courtroom. "What are they thinking? First they take away what's rightfully mine and make me out to be this horrible monster! Then they hand you over to some stranger who is apparently the moon and the stars in your eyes! Never! I didn't go through a year of hell to let some Bible thumping Jesus freak adopt the kid that is rightfully mine!" Jessica was right in Chrissy's face, yelling, scaring Chrissy who couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears streamed down her face as she held her bright red cheek.

"You haven't changed at all." Chrissy said in a quiet whisper. Jessica raised her eyebrows.

"But you're going to tell them I have – if you know what's good for you. Now tell me you understand." She said quietly as she stared at Chrissy, who shook her head slowly.

"Do you understand?" Jessica raised her hand, as Chrissy closed her eyes tightly, but Jessica found she was unable to bring her hand down to slap her daughter. Something was holding her hand. She turned her head and saw Tess standing there with an unimpressed look on her face. She was holding Jessica's hand tightly. Chrissy opened her eyes and saw Tess standing there, and breathed out quickly as she felt a calming hand on her shoulder. Chrissy turned and saw Monica was standing next to her. Chrissy began to cry as she fell into Monica's arms, who held her close as Tess let go of Jessica's hand.

"Tess, what are you doing here?" Jessica asked, getting back into false character. Tess was not buying it.

"Jessica, you are finished here. God is not going to allow you to hurt your daughter again." Tess said in her authoritative voice. Jessica raised her eyebrows.

"Excuse me?" She asked, and was shocked when the bathroom started glowing all around her. She stared hard at Tess, who was the one emitting the glow.

"You listen and you listen close Jessica because I'm only going to say this once. For fourteen years, you neglected to love the only daughter you ever had. You've done nothing but hurt her day after day, month after month and year after year. You've always wanted to be in control, because you felt so out of control after your husband died. Anytime something seemed out of control, you turned to alcohol and drugs, hoping they would solve your problems. You thought that hitting Chrissy would make you feel superior, and in control. You never once stopped to think about how much damage you were doing to that little girl. The problem is that you were never in control. The blessing of the matter is that God has been, is, and always will be in control. He's been watching over your daughter from the day she was born and it was decided by God the Father that she would meet Michelle when the time was right so Chrissy could finally experience what true love really is. God wants you to know that when you leave this courthouse today, you will never see your daughter again, but He also wants you to know that He loves you and is in control of your life too. You won't see it right away, but one day, you will turn to God and He'll be right there waiting for you." Tess said as Jessica stared at her, too shocked for words. Silence followed, as Chrissy swore she saw a tear brewing in Jessica's eye. Not a false tear for show, but a genuine tear that gave Chrissy the impression that somewhere, deep down inside of Jessica, there was a glimmer of regret. Tess turned to Monica and winked.

"Your turn baby." She took Jessica's arm and began leading her toward the door. "Let's go." She led Jessica out of the bathroom and Chrissy looked up at Monica with tears streaming down her face, and her whole body was shaking.

"Are you alright?" Monica asked as she gently touched Chrissy's cheek. Chrissy flinched but nodded slowly.

"I knew it, I knew she hadn't changed." She said with a quiet sob as she shivered slightly. Monica nodded.

"Yes. You know, God will always make sure the truth comes out eventually. Have you ever heard the expression, 'the truth shall set you free?" She asked. Chrissy shook her head as she stared at the angel.

"God is Truth. He is so perfect and so loving that it is impossible for Him to lie. Lies do not come from God – only truth does. God loves you so much Chrissy and He knew the whole time that the truth would come out. Just like Tess told Jessica, God has been in control of your life from the very beginning, even before you were born. He knows you've been through a lot, and He knows you're hurting and you're scared, but He wants you to tell the truth. He doesn't want you to be afraid of your mother anymore. Remember, 'the truth shall set you free.' When you finally trusted Michelle yesterday and you told her about your feelings, you felt more at peace, didn't you?" Monica asked. Chrissy thought for a moment before she nodded with a small smile.

"That was God working in your lives. You see Chrissy, the truth will always set you free, because God is Truth, and God is your saviour and He loves you very much." Monica said with a smile. She felt her own tears welling up in her eyes as she watched Chrissy's streaming down her face with a sniffle. Chrissy seemed to be taking it all in, as her eyes drifted down to her bandaged wrist. She looked up at Monica with worried eyes.

"Is God mad at me for…for cutting myself again?" Chrissy asked, her voice quavering as she was desperate for an answer. She never wanted to hurt anybody – especially God. Monica shook her head.

"No. God loves you no matter what you do, but He does want you to know that He doesn't want you to do it anymore. Keep your promise to Michelle, little one. God put the two of you together for a reason, you know. She can help you through this, if you'll let her."

"But what if they take me away from her?" Chrissy asked with a gasp.

"If you tell the truth today about what happened here, God will honour that and I promise you that you will be safe. Just put your faith in God and trust that He knows best. Don't be afraid." Monica replied and she stared into the misty eyes of the teenage girl who held so much pain behind them that Monica knew it would take quite some time for Chrissy to be able to overcome all the years of grief and sadness, but she trusted wholeheartedly that God would be in control.


	13. Redeemed

**Chapter Thirteen: Redeemed**

"Oh my gosh, Chrissy, what happened?" Michelle asked worriedly as she saw Chrissy's red cheek when Chrissy had come back into the courtroom. Chrissy's eyes filled up with tears, but before she had a chance to tell Michelle anything, Celia Hampton entered the room once again, as everybody rose.

"Recess is now over. I'd like to ask Christina Anderson to approach the stand." She said as she tapped her gavel down. Chrissy felt her stomach churning and she could feel sweat brewing on her forehead as she stood up slowly. Michelle gave her a gentle nudge with a wink. Chrissy took a deep breath as she walked toward the stand. She peered over at Jessica who stared at her with dagger eyes, as though meeting an angel hadn't affected her at all. Chrissy swallowed hard as she sat down nervously. After she was sworn in, Ms. Rashid stood up.

"Hello Chrissy." She said with a smile. Chrissy managed to smile back, but her head was spinning. She felt so torn between the truth and Jessica's threatening words.

"Is it okay if I ask you a few questions?" Ms. Rashid asked. Chrissy nodded, saying a silent prayer to God for the strength to tell the truth.

"Is it true that your mother was abusive toward you before you were taken away from her?" Ms. Rashid asked.

"Yes." Chrissy replied, as she noticed her voice was shaking.

"How often would you say she beat you?"

"Uh, I'd say everyday."

"Is it true that your mother left you alone nearly every night so she could go out drinking with her friends?"

"Yeah."

"How did that make you feel Chrissy?"

"Scared." Chrissy stared at Jessica, who raised her eyebrows in disapproval. Chrissy continued. "I wasn't afraid of being alone. I was afraid of her coming home."

"Chrissy, you were taken away from your mother last year. How have things changed since then?"

"I met Michelle."

"And how would you describe your relationship with Michelle?"

"I love her."

"You met your mother again for the first time in a year just a few days ago, isn't that true?"

"Yeah."

"What was your impression of her?"

"I, uh, I don't know. I guess she seemed different."

"She _seemed_ different. You don't sound so sure." Ms. Rashid raised her eyebrows and Chrissy began breathing heavily as her nerves grew stronger and Jessica's hard stare grew more intimidating.

"Chrissy, in your opinion, do you think your mother, Jessica Anderson, has truly changed in the way she reports she has?" Ms. Rashid asked. Chrissy stared down at Jessica who was shaking her head threateningly. For a brief moment, Chrissy was nearly driven to lie, just like her mother had told her to, but then she saw Monica standing at the back of the courtroom with a reassuring smile. _The truth shall set you free._ Chrissy took a deep breath and stared bravely at Jessica as she answered Ms. Rashid's question.

"No. She hasn't changed. At first I thought she did, but I knew something wasn't right. Just now, during the recess, I was in the washroom and my mom was there too. She threatened me. She told me I had to tell everybody that I thought she had changed and that I wanted a second chance with her. I told her I wasn't going to lie, and she slapped me!" She answered as she gripped her chair tightly. Celia Hampton turned in her seat to face Chrissy as silent gasps filled the courtroom.

"Are you sure Christina?" Celia asked as she observed the bright red mark on Chrissy's cheek. "Is that what that mark is?"

"Yes. I'm sure." Chrissy felt tears welling up in her eyes as she looked down. She looked up in just enough time to see Jessica stand up quickly with that familiar expression of pure anger on her face.

"You little bitch!" She yelled. Andrew pulled down on her arm to pull her back down to her seat as Celia tapped her gavel down loudly.

"Order, Ms. Anderson, contain yourself!" Celia sighed and looked down at the file in front of her.

"Now from what I have just heard and come to understand through this hearing, I have come to a final decision regarding the custody of Christina Leanne Anderson." Silence followed as Chrissy felt her heart hammering in her chest. Celia seemed to be taking a long time reviewing her file before stating her decision. Chrissy stared at Michelle who was leaning forward anxiously. Chrissy jumped in her seat when Celia began talking again.

"I believe it is in the best interest of the child for me to deny custody to Jessica Anderson. Furthermore, I am placing a restraining order on Ms. Anderson so she cannot be anywhere near her child, because at this time, she is not fit enough to do so. Christina will continue to reside with Michelle Long." Celia tapped her gavel down. Chrissy could feel an overwhelming sense of peace over her as she smiled widely. She looked up at Celia with a smile.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." She cried as she jumped down from the stand, wanting nothing more than to be in Michelle's arms. As she began to run down the aisle toward Michelle, she stopped and saw Jessica staring at her with cold eyes.

"This isn't over. I'm going to keep fighting this. I'm not going to allow that woman to adopt you! You're my kid." She said through clenched teeth as Andrew had to keep his hand on her shoulder to prevent her from lunging at her daughter. Chrissy shook her head.

"No I'm not. I never was. You'll never change." She said firmly, confidant that this was all over. Jessica shook her head.

"If you think Michelle is going to be that perfect mom you've always dreamed of, you're wrong. I'm the best there is!" She yelled out.

"Michelle's not perfect, nobody is, but she gives me what you could never give me mom." Chrissy replied.

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"Love." Chrissy turned her back on her mother for the last time, knowing she would never cross her path again. She ran toward her future, toward Michelle, who was standing at the back of the courtroom, waiting for her with open arms. Chrissy felt tears running down her face as she ran to Michelle and jumped into her arms. Michelle lifted her up and squeezed her tightly as she cried. Neither of them said a word; they didn't have to. They knew it was over, they knew they would be together, and they knew that from now on, everything would be okay, because they had each other.

Chrissy and Michelle stood just outside the courthouse, sitting on a bench as they talked to Sandra and Wendy.

"I'm so happy for you two." Wendy said with a smile. Chrissy smiled back.

"Thanks." She replied.

"So Michelle, should I keep going with the adoption process or do you want to wait?" Sandra asked. Michelle shook her head.

"Absolutely not. Keep going with it and promise me you'll do your best to get it complete as soon as possible. I want to adopt Chrissy right away." She smiled at Chrissy and kissed her on the head. Sandra smiled and nodded. As Sandra and Wendy walked away, Chrissy saw Monica approaching them. Chrissy stood up with a smile.

"Hello little one." Monica greeted. "How are you doing?"

"Great. Thanks for everything Monica." Chrissy replied.

"I just came to say goodbye Chrissy. It is time for me to go." Monica said. Michelle stood up.

"Oh, are you leaving town?" She asked. Monica shrugged.

"In a manner of speaking." She replied honestly. Michelle cocked her head, feeling confused. She shook her head with an embarrassed smile.

"I don't know what it is about you Monica. But there's something, something about you. I can't explain it." She said. Chrissy smiled knowingly and turned to look at Monica, who nodded her approval. Chrissy turned to Michelle.

"Monica's an angel, Michelle. That's why she's here. God sent her to be with me during this whole thing. That's why she was there at my mom's house last year too." She explained. Michelle wore an expression of confusion as she stared at Monica with a puckered brow.

"An angel?" She asked. Monica nodded with a calming smile as she began to glow. Michelle's eyes widened as a smile crossed her face.

"Yes Michelle, I am an angel sent by God. I was sent to help Chrissy last year and I was sent again to help her now. Michelle, I have a message for you from God. He wants you to know He is very proud of you for the wonderful job you are doing taking care of this little girl as though she were your own. God knew from the beginning that you had so much love to offer and He knew that Chrissy needed that love and so He made sure the two of you would meet. Michelle, He's so proud of you, and He loves you so much. He wants you to know that nothing will separate you two now and He also wants you to know that the adoption will be successful and that you will be signing those papers sooner than you think." Monica said with a reassuring smile. Michelle smiled as she stared at Monica. She didn't know what to say, she was too shocked for words. She knew angels existed, but she never thought she would meet one. Monica turned to Chrissy with a wink.

"I have to go now." She said quietly. Chrissy nodded slowly and looked down.

"Will you ever come back? I mean, will I ever see you again?" She asked sadly. Monica stroked Chrissy's hair.

"I don't know little one, but I have been blessed to know you. I know you'll be alright now." She gestured toward Michelle. "You have someone who will love you no matter what." Chrissy smiled and gave Monica a hug.

"Thank you Monica." She whispered. She wiped her tears as she watched Monica walk away and she felt Michelle's arms wrap around her and Chrissy smiled, knowing she would be safe and loved from now on.

The truth had set her free, and she couldn't have been happier.


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Monica had been right. The week after the hearing, Sandra had come by the house with a sealed envelope.

The adoption papers.

Michelle had signed them immediately and it was official. Chrissy Anderson had become Chrissy Long and she was now part of a family.

Chrissy apologized to Brandi and the two friends remained close. Chrissy did everything she could to help Brandi overcome her cutting and was so proud when Brandi gave it up for good.

Chrissy had kept her promise to Michelle. She told her whenever she felt like she wanted to cut herself, and it was working.

Chrissy never cut herself again.

Chrissy never heard from Jessica again, and the last she had heard, Jessica had moved up to Canada by herself.

Life had never been happier for Chrissy. She never lost faith in God and always trusted Him to help her through hard times.

The truth had set her free; it had brought her the true happiness she had always dreamed of and the love she always desired.

**THE END!**

_Thanks for all the great reviews and the support. Thank you for helping Chrissy through her second adventure._


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